Tuesday, July 15, 2008
9:10 PM

".. Nd yar..bout u?Hmm..I oni have 2 choices to make.I may want to leave u.Nd maybe not?Ha!Too confuse luh.Its all bcuz I'm tinkin to much bout ur decisions nd situation.I noe u dun expect me to be a part of dis..but dun worie..Irfan's dere.Always do.What made u tink of me avoiding u is somehow true?I tink..it may not be true..cuz I'm not sure what I'm trying to do luh atuali.I dun wanna avoid u luh.But...hais..my ears are too open.But now,after u told me ur current situation.I finally understand.Hey!As ive said?Dun care what oder people say tao.U thrust urself.Make ur own choices.Dun get too influenced.I dunwanna force u.I may want to help,but I noe I'm also a part of dis..so I dunwanna be involve in giving u some help.But I'm willing to share ur problems.Always do ok.Nvr wud I wanna leave u..not now.Sorry if I may seem forward.But its true.I'm not gonna leave u suffering wit da pain nd confusion.Not dis soon.Tk baek kn?Yeah.I know its never ur intentions..but to me,I tink its wrong to leave u at dis point of time.Avoidin u is juz bcuz Im too confused.I feel like I'm a leftout.As hopes are worthless!Deres alot I've tried to succeed nd ever hoped for,but failed to.I'm just lost.Deres nothing more I kud do now.Loser?Definetely me!I'm being da simple me now.Living wit happiness.But wit failures nd heartbreaks of hopes..my dreams are crushed.But..I'm enjoying lyfe.I'm lost??Dats y I started ol dos bad stuffs.Cuz..wat more can I do now?HaHa..Till den fellas.See ya! "

".. Guess what?I got a dream..nd I guess,dat should be de answer aye??Yes,yes.Now,it takes only a miracle to get her.Yep.Last few months,to me,it takes hope,expectations nd confidence.But it doesnt seem to be de case now.About de dream?Haiss..deyll be back together again.Dunnoe luh.I think so?Ha!Are dreams meant to be true??To me,yar?Especially dos bad ones.It surely gives a meaning to all de day I looked forward to.Hais..lyke dgig for eg.HaHa!I had bad dreams bout it..nd it turned out bad too!Well..I finally realised how stupid I am to step into her life.Nd especially to Irosen.Dude!Am I a jinx??Ouh fuck!Dgig,I seem to be de one letting ma crew down.Nd for dat gerl,I guess I should be de one causing all dat confusion!I sumtimes get mad at myself.How stupid can I get??I should listen to ma parent's words.Dun let gerls be a distraction.I think being da normal me is da best ting I could do.Now its too late,I got myself into this,she's confused..I wanna make people have an easy life again.After evriting is settle..nd she already cleared her mind up with dos thoughts.Lets see what her final decision is.Well..I've been thinking that I should just leave her even if she wants to take me in.Sadly,I think I should forget her.Forget the things we did together..forget everything!Awwww..I love dos moments man!Erghh!Just try nd forget luh irfan!Nga bobal sorng lagi luh me.Ha!Hais.But now,I duno what de future holds.Everything could go de opposite.As I've said,it takes a miracle to get her.I now depend much more on god.I dunnoe why I'm starting to think twice bout life.God created us,we are all de same,no one is special..to me.If dere is,who?I dun tink deres even one.All creations are equally de same.No one s perfect.Even my family.I'm beginning to believe more in ma religion now.Cey!Duno luh!I used to forget our creator,but now,I realised dat I need him more.Let's do something bout life.Nd I dun nid god's help to settle ma problems now.Cuz,to my way of thinking,what u pray for,will come trough.So,I won't depend on god to do solve ma problems now.Not fair for him to make de decisions for my lyfe.Who knows it may turn out to be bad?I just pray to seek protection nd food for my family nd myself.Dats all.Till den.See ya around aye.:p "

".. Well..to her?You've finally got dat answer.I guess ur frens' words are true.Even though dey made u a bit confuse.He still care,he still does yea!He wants u back..nd wants to start a new.Even though some of my frens are psycho-ing of me to make my move..I just give a damn about dem.Who are dey to tell me what I should do?I got my own touch guys,I know what I'm doing.If your gerl said dat u're de sweetest guy she ever had..den u are,but its only to her.All gerls hev different minds man!Hais..but I know you are doing this just to see me happy.But come on!I'm already happy with you guys.We are family man!!Haiss..its time I look forward to life.I only believe in miracles now.Well swits?Know what?I still have one final hope now.Only de future holds it.But maybe it may turn de opposite.Hais..I'll still be waiting in silence.When I'll go,I won't come back with him around.I just know I can't!Too much frustration and complicated living.I gave my best..but remember what I once said about having u as a trophy to be won?I guess I lost huh.Ha!Pathetically thinking.I'm sorry for saying dat,but I treat u more den just a trophy..I know u're much more den dat dear.Now,u nid him more den me.Isit?Den do so k.One day,I'll be back for u again.I'm not lyke dos psycho guys dat are desperate of having u.Thinking bout deir own happiness.I'm different.I think bout his happiness nd not just urs too.Well..now,is it time to say gudbye?But before I go,I had always loved u.Forgive me if I seem forward swits.I really felt dat love in us.I really mean it with my words nd showed why I wud want to wait for u.But now,I have to sae we can oni keep dis as memories.My decision will always be u.But now,if u wanna go back to him,den do so huh.I hope he mean what he says.I hate to see u hurt.But dis time,wit him around,I won't be dere for u dear.Well..till den huh.Nd before I go,I will always forgive you..even though you did nothing wrong but u think u did.Even with unlimited apologies,I'll still accept it with da bottom of ma soul.Deres no nid to be sorry..u did nothing wrong. :) "