Thursday, April 17, 2008
1:05 PMWell,I just woke up from a short nap.Now,currently wanted to blog.Don't know why.I'm bored.
Current emotion? : Jealousy.
Current thoughts? : "Is it true?"
Currently doing?..blog lar bodo.
Well,did I just left you just like that last night?Baby,you told me to go home instead.And so I gave a kiss on the cheeks and left.For the first time,I listened to you for that,cause after all..I never listened to you when you asked me to go home each time you told me to.
The only thing I thought of you last night was never you being stubborn or ego.For some time last night,when you talk about your friends,its like they're the ones for you.After all the love I had given you,I gave you my all.But I'm still in the same position.This doesn't affect your mind anyway.Cause I know,you love you friends as much as me.I never wanted you to be distances away from them too ya know.I just don't know why but its like,have I given my all for my very first girlfriend?Is she gonna be my first and truly,my last?I don't know people.I just think that I'm one of her so called bfs?That way you know.Slightly better?Ahh..cause those "I miss you"s..Those "I love you"s..is it just for me to know?Can I know what love is right now?With the same position I am with them.Do other boys have the same thoughts as I am?Have they ever realised they've been treated that way?I don't know.Cause of all the people I know,I'm sad..they're always their everything for the girl.Man..how I wish..that I do mean alot to my girl.Not treated as her everything like that.She needs the space,so do I right?Our personal life comes first.But hey,I should just get a grip.She've learnt her lesson from the past.So,it has fallen on me.When I wanted to do things better and just make her happy.How I wish..hais.And how I wish,I have the same strong love from one of her past too.That one and only.It's so unfair!In this story,people..I'm the girl and she's the guy.I'm such a faaggg.Ahh...wishes.
What those boys said about me,what I said about them,they're always the one you'll have to side on and I'll always be the one against with my words.Before I knew anything,when they said about me,its totally different from what I get now.Right?And you defended a friend of mine and thought of the bad among the rest that I've got from one of your so called clique.Yeah.He's happy to be with you guys and his girl,his new so called friends.Get this right,those boys among your group,asked them what they think about him.And ask the girls among your crop too,asked them how they think of him.Different answers between different sexes.I swear!I don't wanna say it.I'm not going to be enemies with him.That's what his old friends tought of him in the past.And baby,see?You always listen to them when you just don't know the truth.I'm disappointed.
I once said that I never wanted to hurt you from the start between us.Because if you're down,your friends will be there.And then,since you guys are so caring towards each other,you'll be told what to do.It's like I think,if she loses me,why bother?She got them there.:( (You said that once anyway.Hah!Pathetic.) Cause I don't want them to tell you what to do.I'm scared.That you'll be what they want you to be.Cause I want you to be what I want you to be honey.After all,you did what they want you to be at first.Some of them.Even with false stories.Now,am I receiving the same love as them or do you love them more?
I wanted to get closer to you because I want people to know that I'm the one you love best.I just hate it when people just think that I'm the same as that one you got in the past.But listening to you at first was stupid.You wanted it and I don't understand why you thought I was wrong..I did it for you.
I know,they also think I'm just a useless boyfriend.That's the way they think.And they'll give you false promises,they'll wait for you and so.Jealous yeah.I don't know if there is anyone you've been in contact with all this while.Hope not.Cause you know,when I finally given my first breakdown in my life on you,...I just dont wanna leave you baby.I swear I don't want to.Only time will tell.
My love for you can be fragile.
Last night.I had the baddest treatment ever when you talk like that about some of your friends.What am I to you?A friend you just knew?
I don't know dudes.Jealousy has taken over the love for me?
I paham,you ade moodswing.Because of your period.But..
You know I never knew in that kind of situation she's in,she could say like that about her friends.Why am I treated like that when you could just say them only the good?
Are you the one?Am I your sweetest yet?Are we meant to last?You tell me.Or not.
I love you.I just wanna be alone and just let this jealousy fade.I know before this,we're in the best living life together.We're so happy in our lives so far.See how so much happiness can give me a braincrash?When thoughts started to take back those happiness in thinking are we happy enough?Am I?Well..get yourself more friends.And just leave me right there aite.Since you're so happy in making friends.Say that you love them.When you've got the current ones you said you loved best.And that you've got me?I just find you a joke in this.I don't understand why.Are you trying to make a name honey to make more people know you?
Love all the guys and all the ladies in this world.Let me know where I'll be right now.
The bottom line is.
"Will you miss me when we're done?"
Information
Layout: Northern DownpourBrowser: Mozilla Firefox
Screen: 1280X800
About
Illya AceMira
Mus
Shasha
Yanee
Tagboard
Credits
Layout: tuesdaynightResources: 1 2